TO BEGIN AGAIN

TO BEGIN AGAIN

I don’t have much natural artistic ability. I can’t draw. I’m not very crafty. 

I do have a really good eye. And words come to me, somewhat divinely. I can put unlike things together in a way that is highly creative. I️ know myself. I️ am a builder. And most importantly, I want to make an impact.

With this paradox, I struggle to create what I would classify as “real work.” 

Creating real work was on my 2017 resolution list. It was the hardest one to accomplish that year and I still clearly struggle with it deeply. 

Some things have happened since 2017. It fact, it feels like everything happened. 

My creative, explorative self is reemerging. I’ve learned the hard way that my muse is tied in with my parasymtpthic self. Proving again that taking care of my animal-self is the answer. Selfcare isn’t bullshit. I’ve gotten back here, back to inspired. Back to who I want to be. 

But still I struggle, what is the body of work for this space?

Something that I️’ve continually come back to is “easy is productive.” So I’m going all in on that. Even if I am not an expert. If it makes me happy, you will find it here (like the bread obsession). 

Having a website is something I’ve longed for so deeply — for as long as I can remember. I’ve had so much shadow around it. Thinking that I didn’t have the skill or the authority. My pictures are bad. I don’t have a cohesive voice. I don’t have enough time to make it perfect. I could never compete with the mommy bloggers…

But that is just wrong. 

Over five years I’ve documented my growth. My favorite recipes live here. It sure does look a hell of a lot better than it did when I started. It has a name. I get thousands of clicks every month. I MADE SOMETHING. 

As I have so many times over the years, I am getting back on the horse. Writing again. Creating again. Exploring again. The only thing I’ve been able to do routinely is get too busy and discouraged. And honestly, that’s ok. I accept that to be enough. 

Now, I have the profound opportunity to begin again. I don’t have to start from scratch. I FINALLY feel ready. And oh shit you guys, that feels better than I could’ve imagined. It’s here. 

I’m able to move past the fact that I can’t design a logo or illustrate my posts and instead ground into what I can do. Do more of what makes me, me.

This motivation inside me is for something. And that’s enough to keep me going, today and onward. 

 
 
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Hey! I'm Blair.

Creative. Producer. Student of the Universe

Dedicated to proving that dreams come true.

You can have what you want.

#hereitallcomes

 

San Francisco life + style blog. Sourcing culture. Celebrating community, honesty and growth. Feelings. Food. Events. SF.

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